New place

New place, originally uploaded by solotis.

Mon 03/19/2007 10:43 Image947-001 Ok all guess I'm getting older with some responsibility. At my age of 23 I have moved away from my parents' house, I moved to an apartment all alone in downtown Des Moines, IA. So far it's cool lots of young people drunk walking around and it seems there's always something to look at or something. Well it's somewhat boring I just moved in but I don't have cable or as fast internet or any furniture except the bed. Once I get more settled I'm hoping to get more entertainment. Oh and right now for parking I'm just parking on the streets it's free after 6pm but I have to be out of that space by 8am which gets me to work early I guess. I do need to get a parking space so the days I want off or something I won't have to run to the car to put change in the meters and worry if I'm going to get a ticket or something. I'll get it all down I just really wasn't prepared to move yet but I refuse to have anyone tell me that I can't do this. That's the worst thing I hate to hear is that someone doubts me. It's just that I want this for myself to know I don't have to completely rely on my parents for support it feels good doing this even though I wasn't ready but to do this on my own is just the best feeling.

Just a Tuesday

Bored by myself at home it's 8:05pm listening to music and drinking my leftover beer I bought Saturday when at Sophia's. Nothing new just bored so I decided to write, tomorrow is Valentine's Day... nothing special cuz I don't have that someone to care about haha oh well. Guess I'm going to do the same thing tomorrow... Since I'm a little tipsy right now I guess I'll type about this dream I had couple weeks ago it's weird actually and something I would never thought I'd think of doing...

Anyway it was a dream about a girl I work with at work she's ok looking not the greatest to my standards but bareable we had a great time and things got pretty hot and heavy... (how corny) anyway yeah so we did the do... later on though in the dream I found out this girl got pregnant! I was crazed I just didn't know how to act I see myself in the dream freaking out over this crazy situation that I never thought myself to be in. Anyway at work she pulled me aside and told me this and she was going to keep it no matter what and she does want my support and help but she understands if I would decline... of course I accepted saying yeah I'll help but in my mind I'm freaking out and not ready for this whatsoever. I was freaking I was telling everyone no one seem to really give me much attention or I did get a little but to them it was saying it's all on me deal with it, you got yourself into this, which of course I did... I told this other friend at work, he was going into a meeting with her that was upstairs with her and quietly asked if he needed my assistance with this issue. The thing was he would be willing to "accidentally" push her down the stairs which would of course lead to no responsiblity... Crazy enough something I would never have thought I would think of myself to do... agreed to it. I said that would be ok if he was willing to do my dirty work.

I think I woke up or something veered away from that issue because I don't remember the rest... I just thought I'd share that, it's this crazy thing I've been thinking of for a while and I'm very surprised I actually would agree to such doing. It kind of scared me a little. Well I don't know I'll probably regret letting this information out but it feels good to type what I'm feeling at times, I would like to make a note that this is a public journal or blog I created and I'm ok with whoever reads this I don't regret what I say because it's what's on my mind at the time, I might feel bad about it later or regret what I say but what's done is done and I don't feel to take back what I say. It's my own fault if I say something that I might should not have said but I'm ok. It's a release from what I always keep inside and it's a way for me to be ok, I'm ok for anyone to give me feedback or comment what I say, don't feel afraid to tell me if I'm wrong or I need "help" in my situation I'll work it out myself but I'll take your word into consideration. Thanks

Wanted: a plane home right away

Wanted: a plane home right away, originally uploaded by solotis.

Tue 02/06/2007 23:09 Image665 Five in the morning we got up to get ready to go to Los Angeles to just go through and maybe see Olivia real quick. Oh man I was not happy getting up that early it was crazy my eyes are bloodshot of tired and I haven't really was all go out ready yet. Anyway we ate breakfast at the hotel and drove off to la la land (haha people probably don't even say that anymore.)

So we're off and wow this place is seriously in the middle of a desert just dry land and some brushes. There we're mountains though so that was cool, also I didn't realize the altitude was going to affect me but it kept popping my ears on the way there. Man we were tired and I just couldn't even try to keep him company because it was just too much. Anyway we stop by some has stations and finally made it there.

So it's a city with such crappy traffic we get stuck and go like the whole entire time there. Finally though we found a place to eat it's some Thai restaurant that was pretty good by the way don't know what it's called though. After that we went walked around Hollywood blvd and saw the Kodak theater it's cool but people are there dressed up like things trying to get money for pics. My uncle took a pic with Elmo and we had to give him a dollar for that cuz that was the only small cash I had. Yeah so we passed by some stars and all of that tourist stuff but at a big rush since my uncle was in a big hurry to go back to Vegas to get to see celebrity impersonaters.

On our way back he was so tired he was swerving all over the place I offered to drive but he wouldn't have it. So we did make it back but man I was a little nervous but yeah we got back and we did go to the show it was ok kind of fun but we were late to it though so after that my other uncles decided to meet up and eat we ate some 50s-ish restaurant where the requirements are you have to be able to sing. It's kind of hard putting a smile on my face for this table like they're having a blast and me like yup sure is with my awkward look on my face.

Later that night we actually went on the strip first stop Caesar's. Of course what we did was walked through the casinos in a rush not being able to see anything or stop to look at the crazy architecture. After that we went through the Bellaggio where finally we can stop to take pictures. Them we walked right out of there and went to the Venician he played paigao poker. He's spent all his money and went to the atm for more too bad he couldn't withdrawel so he asked of for money. I will not discuss how much. So while he's gambling I found a place to sit and type some of this down. On our way back he just couldn't stop talking about it like "oh my god I lost money at casino, what are the odds." uhh there pretty good. Anyway we came back to the hotel and I went straight to the room not wanting to do much more. He's gambling downstairs right now. I knew from the start that I wasn't going to have fun here. Oh well I can't wait to get back home tomorrow. Just before I was ending this someone asked for more of a certain something...

Second day in Vegas with an addict

Second day in Vegas with an addict, originally uploaded by solotis.

Tue 02/06/2007 00:40 Image647 Ok second day my uncle gambling addict came to the room around 6 which would be 8 our time. Anyway when we woke up around 9 he only had a couple hours and again he's moving around a lot while sleeping just couldn't stay still. We of course didn't really go to many places we ate at some dimsum and we were on our way back. My god we just could not leave the Stratosphere this isn't a great hotel and it's so far away from the really good hotels.

I did though play a quarter slot and put 5 dollars into it that last me an hour and a half i went up pretty high but couldn't stop and lost 100. I gained up to 100 from a 5 bill and lost it all just to keep time passing and i thought I could go higher. So anyway after that I watched my uncle just going up and down with his money I got tired so I went upstairs to take a nap. I got a call later saying yeah come down we'll eat so I did and watched him play a little more then we ate at some buffet. I'm getting sick of this trip already I'm ready to go home and go to work. It'd be so much better he I had people my age or people that's willing to do more than just sit at a table and throw my money out. We're in Vegas there are more things to do than just gamble. I want to do more site seeing this sucks. So now I'm sick of walking around the place so I decided to just chill in the room. While talking on the phone with my sister how this trip was going my uncle came into the room not too sure if he heard anything but he looked somewhat upset. I guess he spent all his money of course he did by the way he's spending I don't know how he does it.

So I guess he feels somewhat bad for just doing his own thing with gambling so we're going to see a topless vampire show... (went to see the show) ok that was fun it's called "Bite" and it's interesting they touched me twice haha. There was a lot of smacking a lot of licking and yes there was "biting." Most had really nice bodies with some fake boobs.

After we were done with that my uncle decided to do some more gambling I just went ahead and put some money in the slots. I put 40 bucks in there and nothing. So I was like I'll just go ahead and put some chips on some numbers with roulette. I couldn't even get that right. So I've spent 100 bucks there in an hour time so I had to quit I just don't have the money for this. So I'm back up in the room again. Just hanging out up here I was actually considering walking around myself now but nah. He decided to come up around 2 this time it's because he doesn't have any money my god I thought I was bad with money oh well. Anyway we're going to LA tomorrow so hopefully I'll have fun there.

Vegas first day

Vegas first day, originally uploaded by solotis.

Mon 02/05/2007 00:28 Image643 Not a great start let me tell you that. Ok let's start by our flight to there. Oh my god, my uncle sitting there is like a kid first off he took the window seat even though he travels a lot and he can not stay still and some times he would lean on me. Ahhh! I really went there too with such little money since i'm thinking of moving out of the house and I was told like a couple months in advance.

When we had our lay over in Memphis we ate some lunch and that was when the superbowl was on too so it was kind of a crazy moment. We ate and had some beers I wished I drank more because I don't know how I'm going t stand him on the way to Vegas there. So yeah it was even worse on the way there he got up like 3 times going to the restroom how annoying and of course he couldn't take the aisle seat.

Not that I already think this guy is a closet gay but he keeps asking he I want to see Toni Braxton. I'm not a fan and I just not want to see her also that would be in the way of meeting Olivia in LA Tuesday. He's probably going to ask again but I'll have to refuse nicely. Also he scares me when gambling of my god he lost more than a $1000 in less than an hour and that's more than what I came with. He's still down there gambling while I'm tying this up.

Oh man scary thing happen while trying to make it upstair to this room I was trying hard to find this room and heard really loud yelling and screaming coming from a ghetto black girl (I really don't want to sound racist or stereotypical) but man I end up going back downstairs to find my uncle what room it was again and the chick was on a level below me and she walked in the elevator with me crying, saying "down please!" I felt uncomfortable and was like ugh you ok? Damn that was weird and when I got to the bottom floor these security guards dressed like they were SWAT came to the elevator and i walked away like oh my god and felt kind of awkward. Well i'm going to sleep right now so I'm done with this. Next time I'm going to request to not be at the Stratosphere because it's the ghetto part of the Vegas strip.

Sophia's Starlight Mints

Funny story about Saara did to Sophia when they were younger.

I Hate You William Hung!

I just like to say that I really hate this man. I believe he is a disgrace to all of Asian-Americans out there trying to move away from this kind of stereotype. He's a complete joke to everyone from the start of American Idol singing this god-awful song by Ricky Martin.

Of course he's making money doing what he's doing but he's out there in the public eye knowing that everyone is laughing at his appearance and his accent, ignorant people are going to believe that most of asians are like this, not just that he's singing horribly he's also an engineer student at the time which doesn't help him with the typical asian stereo type that we're good it Math. I just wanted to rant a little because I live my life trying to remove this image that many people think of us and here's this walking stereotype discrediting everything.

U Don't Know Me

drinking, originally uploaded by solotis.

Don't you hate it when people look at you and they quick to judge how you are to act, how your background is, and what type of music you listen to? I know that it's just people that are ignorant quickly assuming because they know someone that is asian or whatever assumes I'm that way too. Thinking I go clubbin' at some disco tech place, having some fancy import car, just some stupid stereotype. I'm not trying to be selfhating asian, I just hate the stereotype that comes along with being asian.

"I was living a biracial life when I'm not."

I really don't hang out with many asians, I do at times feel a bit intimidated by them, that I don't "act asian enough" because my beliefs and my interests. It all started with middle school, of course I have to say middle school is the worse because damn kids are mean at that age. While all the asian kids at that time where really into Rap and R&B and dressing like they're "hood," I was listenin' to my Green Day, NIN, and Smashing Pumpkins. Even though I was still wearing my some designer clothes I was picking off some style from what those bands were wearing. (Very little) But automatically to them I was considered a "white-washed" or a "twinkie" (yellow outside w/white filling.) To them I was white, to my white friends I was asian. I was living a biracial life when I'm not. When middle school ended and going into high school they didn't say things to me I wasn't in the big asian groups or invited to their things. I'd just have few of them talk to me and they don't seem to come at me all at once they would talk to me one to one with me like they were not wanting to be seen with me or some shit, it sucked. It sucks that I dwell on this but it really affected me how I look into our asian culture.

I try my hardest not to fall into stereotype, I'm not going to be those asians that are thugs who group themselves doing bad things not achieving anything in their lives. I'm not going to go out with an asian girl that pretend to act all cute and innocent and act dumb, I don't fall into that. I only think guys go for that because the way they think is that they feel they are the dominant in the relationship that they have power to do whatever they want and sadly that is sometimes how it goes with them. The person I hate that has totally made more of a stereotype that I just want to die is William Hung. He has made a fool out of us, that is how people have looked at us way back and he just brought it back to humiliate us all. Even though he is getting that cash for his 15 minutes, he should realize that he's actually somewhat representing us Asian Americans and he's totally making entire America to laugh at us.

I don't know why I decided to write about this today, it was just something that was on my mind. No scratch that, it's because someone assumed the other day they know the choice of music I listen to because of my appearance, and it just brought me back to school how I couldn't be myself.