Moving to WordPress

Hi everyone,

I am moving to WordPress. Find me there https://solotis.wordpress.com

I'm keeping this here until I'm comfortable with the whole transition.

Thank you,
Otis Khounlo

Five Minute Blog Entry

What can I say right now? I’m trying so much to try to save money that my weight loss and exercising has taken a backseat. I really want it all but it seems I can only focus on one thing and make it a priority… I guess it also doesn’t help that I’ve been getting pain in my foot again. I try to pride myself in still looking relatively young but I think I’m feeling my age with all the hiccups I come across. 

I’m really scared of possibly taking this European trip myself next year, I know I’ll be in a group tour that markets towards young solo travelers so I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only person who’s completely by themselves. Just reading people’s blogs and experiences though, I’m also a little nervous of being too old as well… I can drink like the rest of them but maturity level is also a thing and I don’t want a huge high school kind of experience either. 

It is getting a little late asking others right now to come on this trip with me, I had a friend who was really into it but being just let go of her job and wanting to go back to school it was very unlikely she would be able to save for it. I don’t think she reads this blog but I do always think she tries to take on way more than she can do which typically ends with let downs. There are just no small steps; you have to pace yourself when you want to get to that bigger goal you want. This was just a stream of consciousness entry and just putting down what I’m feeling at the moment.

Let It Go

People who holds grudges annoy the crap out of me. Why hold on to something for so long that overall doesn't affect how you live your life? I look at this way, for whatever the thing you're upset about would it still have any weight in a year? If not brush it off and move forward. 

This is something that has been bothering me lately. Get over it. 

Hate Handles

Not too long ago I took a picture with someone and they had my hand on my side. Then he mentioned my love handles... Let's just say it ruined my entire mood for the night even though I wasn't showing it in my face. I have lost a lot of weight, I'm aware of that but I'm still very much insecure about my body. I do brush off the compliments I get when people say I look great and congratulate me on my accomplishment but there's always moments like this one where I'm back to feeling down about myself. The acknowledgement of a known issue I was already aware of. 

I don't think I'll ever be completely happy with my body. It's the fat kid mentality that will carry on with me for probably the rest of my life. 

And please, I am not out here writing this entry to fish for compliments. I'm just here to state my problems areas which are my "love handles" and the rest of my body. 

Clean Up for 2016

Happy 2016! I've made some great changes in my life but I still hold on to a lot of the past. This isn't a mental thing I've held on to, I feel like I've already made that change. This is actually physical things. I'm not those hoarders you see on TLC or anything but I do hold on to a lot of crap that I just don't need. Why do I have floppy disks still? I have no devices that would read them or even I can almost say the same thing with CDs too... (It's almost there)

I don't really do resolutions because let's face it, we all don't follow through with them. I guess with it being a new year though I thought it would be a great start to have a clean living situation and get rid of things that I will never ever use. Most of the time I look at these things I have and ask "Do I really need or ever use this?" Most of the time, it's a "no."  Currently I have 3 bags of trash and there's still more to go through. It kind of feels good to let it go. I don't want anything for my birthday, the less "things" I have the better.

Okay I think I'm done for this entry. Hope all is doing well and let's make 2016 a clean one.

Quite Bummed

It's been awhile I guess and I'm sad to report that I'm not really feeling as happy as I have been. 2014 was such a great year for me and moving into the halfway mark of 2015, it's definitely not even comparable. Last year I lost tons of weight, started a new position at work, actually had money saved for a European trip and went on it, and completed a half marathon. So far this year I've actually gained weight (I don't think it's all muscle either...) been really bad financially, started drinking more again and work has been so damn stressful.

It's a long story to get into each little thing I'm dealing with right now but I feel like I needed an outlet and writing is always been a thing that soothes me. I need to stay positive.

Fat Kid Problems... Still in Effect

I really focused on losing weight summer time of 2013 and I've lost a total of 90lbs. Currently I've been up from my lowest and have gained 10-ish lbs (give or take a few). I have been working with a more weights so the up in numbers could be the development of muscles but I am still hating the look of my body. Even though people have been looking at me as inspiration or asking for tips on my weight loss journey, I'm still unsatisfied with my physical appearance. I can't help it when I look into the mirror I still see this fat person staring back at me. I always try to persuade people to believing that if you really want something you have to work hard for it and I've always believed in it myself but it's getting more and more difficult to. Yeah I've lost a good amount of weight but in my head it just doesn't seem good enough. I don't think I'll ever be okay with taking my shirt off in front of people so public pools and beaches for me are terrifying.

Don't get me wrong, I'll still continue to workout and watching what I eat. I'm starting to think I'm developing some kind of psychological thing on why I'm not completely happy with myself.

High School Again...

People are still in high school and I don't think you'll ever really escape it. There's always going to be someone that hates you or try to make your life miserable. I just had to bring this up because just recently I got mixed up into some high school crap about a he said, she said kind of deal. I mean believe who you want to believe but I think for myself it's easier to say "I don't give a shit" and move on. I'm not a person who really cares too much about what people say; or X that I could care but it's just easier for me to let go and move on because really it just doesn't matter what people's opinions are of me because I know for myself it's not true and who are they to pass judgement. I think that's why people fail in life because they're living life trying to impress some one and if you do things for other people and don't put your own happiness first you'll surely fail.

Just my two cents.