Another Depressing Thought

Oh I was on a call today just doing my regular technical support, and they started conversation. They were on the east coast asking how it was in little Des Moines, Iowa. I told them the truth this place is hell if you don't leave on time you're stuck here forever never succeeding and moving up in the world. It's very rare that someone will come out doing something great here. Most big business here do not start from Iowa it's from other places with more drive and more talent, and just using a small low cost city but still in the States to make more money off of.

I told my caller that I would love leaving this place and move to a big city living that "cool urban life" and all of that. it's something that I've always been interested in but seriously though if I was to move out there I wouldn't have a clue what to do. I don't really have any kind of profession I just have a lot of interest that I usually don't follow through with anything. I really lack determination and leadership that I feel is required when moving from here to there, also I don't have the people in my life that would be willing to tag along because I know I just can't do it myself. People I know are completely fine with this HOLE we call Des Moines, Iowa. I just wish I had the motivation or that extra boost to get me going, hell I can't even leave the place I'm working at that I've been bitching at for so long.

Sometimes I wish my parents would give me a little more talking to when I was younger. I love them very much they've done well but it's not like they've giving me enough motivation to always do your best no matter what or supported me on what I really want to do. They've just told me to do well in school and try to get a career that will bring in the cash. That's not what I want to do... yeah computers and junk is fun and interesting but I don't think that was what I want my career to be and because of that I don't even know what I want to do. It's sad I'm 23 but I feel like it's going to be like this for my life just doing the minimum and not following what I want to do but what people want of me.

Alone

No one wants to visit me! This sucks I thought living by myself it'll be cool cuz hey I can have people over as much or how long I want. Yeah I have that option but no one wants to take advantage of it. This sucks I sometimes rather go back to my parents cuz it's not working the way I want it to. Either people don't feel like driving down here or they don't like the part of finding parking or hate dealing with dowtown people. My god how anti-people could you be?

I don't know I don't want to move outside of downtown it's just not fun and it's not interesting to look out to see other houses nearby or the interstate. I like the "urban" kind of feel and they are working to making downtown des moines to be more lively and I kind of want to be part of that. I am really regretting moving out. It's not like my parents really cared much what I do and they're barely home so I have most of the house to myself anyway. Also I would have much more spending money. I just hate the fact saying I'm 23 living at home. I hate asking some of my peeps too that hey if you're bored or anything... (hint, hint) I have nothing to do. I sound friggin desperate but whatever... I'll think of something to do to persuade.