I really focused on losing weight summer time of 2013 and I've lost a total of 90lbs. Currently I've been up from my lowest and have gained 10-ish lbs (give or take a few). I have been working with a more weights so the up in numbers could be the development of muscles but I am still hating the look of my body. Even though people have been looking at me as inspiration or asking for tips on my weight loss journey, I'm still unsatisfied with my physical appearance. I can't help it when I look into the mirror I still see this fat person staring back at me. I always try to persuade people to believing that if you really want something you have to work hard for it and I've always believed in it myself but it's getting more and more difficult to. Yeah I've lost a good amount of weight but in my head it just doesn't seem good enough. I don't think I'll ever be okay with taking my shirt off in front of people so public pools and beaches for me are terrifying.
Don't get me wrong, I'll still continue to workout and watching what I eat. I'm starting to think I'm developing some kind of psychological thing on why I'm not completely happy with myself.
