celebrAsian 2011

May 14 was the day of the Annual Asian Heritage Festival aka CelebrAsian! I've been volunteering for them the past 3 years and every year it's been a roller coaster but somehow we've managed to get through a successful year. This year was definitely different, I can't say it's better or worse but with a new leader it wasn't something I wasn't use to. The thing that made me really love volunteering for this group was because I really made some great friends from it, actually close friends. I love the time I spent helping putting this whole thing together with great people but I think it's time for me to retire from it all. DEUCES!


Me snapping a picture of my proud VIP pass!


My friend Elida and I taking a quick picture


LOL Banker's Trust mascot thingy


afterschoolspecial performing on stage


Olivia T


DANakaDAN of afterschoolspecial


Headliner Jason Chen with my friend Amie and my cousin Rosie

Drugs and Alcohol with the Family

Last night, I had long chat with my cousin... Well it was mostly him talking and me listening but he was giving me a run through of his life and how he was living the life of a dealing and gang banging and how he's changing his life around. I only met this cousin a couple days ago and he seems to be able to open up so easily and sharing a lot of his past and how he's struggled with drugs and how heavily it had affected his life. I'm not sure what made him spark this conversation with me, I told him the original plan I had when moving back to my parents' house. Trying to save some money and then moving out to new place all together and out of Des Moines. I brought up LA and Chicago as key places.

Now that I think about it he was just worried that I would be caught up in all of the temptation of a bigger city. Let's say this about my history, I have "blazed up" before in my life in high school and a little in college but since then I have moved away from it. I honestly in my opinion don't think weed is as bad as everyone seem to believe it is. It's an herb that people have proved to be used for other purposes and some for the better.

I don't know where this blog is going... I just feel like talking and don't have anyone right now to talk to. I guess I'm happy that I have met a cousin this weekend that I should keep in contact with. Hey maybe it's Houston that I'm meant to be. I can't believe in my 27 years I haven't really "found myself" yet...

Long Weekend

So it's been interesting long weekend, a lot of relatives from Texas and France came here for my uncle's wedding and it feels like such a long one. It's been awkward around the house with me having to be extra quiet because there's one sleeping in the other room and can't use the bathroom in the morning because it's being used... As much as I love my family I can't wait for them to leave so I can have my house back.

My uncle's wedding was pretty boring I must say which is kinda weird because he is the youngest of the siblings and that was definitely not what I was expecting for when he got married. There was a moment me and my sister had when I bought up my other uncle's wedding and how grandpa was there on the dance floor trying to get people to dance... We both had tears in our eyes thinking how both my grandpa and grandma have missed one of their son's wedding.

We thought that we can put songs on my iPad and they would be able to play it through the headphone jack but apparently their equipment didn't have an audio in to play the songs we were wanting. Let's just say I had to drink a lot to make the wedding easier to handle. It ended up that I was a mean drunk that night and was getting angry with my little cousins. I'm sure it wasn't too bad because they still hung out with me today. It was a rough night though, I ended up vomiting that night all over my bed and carpet that I didn't get cleaned up til the morning after. I should know better than to mix other alcohol that night and pretty much downing a whole bottle of wine.

Easter 1:00pm

I wanted to put an entry up but don't know what to talk about. It's been a bad weekend but I don't feel like sharing that. I think I've been too personal throughout this whole blog I created here since 2005 and maybe I should change that up. It seems like the only time I ever do make an entry here is when I'm back from the bars and is just annoyed at the world for being the way it is.

I love writing and it's another way for me to vent instead of holding things inside. The Internet has made it impossible to say anything and not have it used against you some how. People think they have me all down and judge me by it. It's a part of me but it's not all of me, we shouldn't stop the whole meeting face to face conversation all together. I'm debating right now if I should stop this blog all together or just have a whole new make over.

Chi-City

Chicago! That's where I'll be at this weekend and I am so excited I'm actually going there with friends. I've been there plenty of times when I was younger with my parents but to go at it with my friends is going to be crazy. We're going of course to catch a Bulls game but we're spending Friday through Sunday and hopefully we can totally take advantage of the city life. Des Moines is pathetic to this city, Chicago I feel has a lot more to offer. Food, culture, and nightlife. I hope we can make an itinerary that day because it seems like the guys I'm going with don't really have any other plans outside of the Bulls game. I hope I can Google something up for the weekend so we can enjoy this new place to just go all out. Would be pretty amazing if we can do the hooking up with girls for one night thing since we don't live there, there wouldn't be any attachments.

I'm sure we're going to hit up some deep dish pizza joint because obviously that's what Chicago is known for. I remember going to Gino's back in the day which was pretty amazing but I hear that it's not comparable to other places. If there are any suggestions hit me up! Bars at night, I'm not much of the clubbing places, but it seems like when I'm here in Des Moines that's where I end up going. I'm more of a sports bar or a piano bar kind of guy, live music is always a plus and going to Chicago I think Jazz might be the type of music I should search for. Of course once again, any suggestions would be most gracious.

Horrible Nightmare

I didn't sleep well last night, I had one of those dreams where it felt so real that you wake up in pain. I had a dream last night that my mom was diagnosed with cancer and she was just deteriorating every time I went to visit her. It's upsetting because I've lost both of my grandpa's from lung cancer it was just hard seeing them suffer through it. I remember it was only a time frame of may half a year (probably less...) where he would go to his treatments of radiative therapy with really no results at all. He did try everything to fight it but it was inevitable. I hope soon they will find a real treatment for it.

My dream pretty much reliving that pain of watching my grandpa go through all of that except it was my mother and as I love my grandpa, it just seem to hurt more when it's your mom. By the end of the dream she did actually die and it started with same ritual when someone dies how everyone comes to the house to show respect and prepare for the funeral. I woke up and tears were coming down my face uncontrollably until I got myself to calm down realizing it was all a dream.

Just a Few Thoughts at the End of 26

I'm about to turn 27 at the end of this month and I still can't figure out what's my purpose. I haven't really experienced much, haven't made any big accomplishments, never been in a serious relationship, no plans on kids any time soon. I just don't really have any major goals in my life. Is this how it's going to be for me? Just stuck being comfortable of what I'm doing? I know I've made a lot of similar blog entries like this in the past and I really haven't done much about it. I'm always too scared that I'll fail or don't live up to people's expectations.

I'll try everything once...

I'm Leaving... Unless

I get offended easily sometimes, especially when it comes to my ability. There is a group I'm involved with and I went ahead and try to reach out to take on more responsibility. The thing is, I'm not getting any feedback or acknowledgment from it and it's been more than a week. I know they are needing help but right now as we stand I think I want to detach myself from them... Before, I felt I was needed and had responsibility but without that, what am I there for? Do I really have a say in this?

I really love how things were working before and I miss the relationship I had. I love how my feedback matters and I love how I feel like I'm part of a "committee." Because of that feeling and relationship I had, I made a best friend, I made a relationship with someone I respect, I made a group of people that I didn't know at first, a group that made me be comfortable of who I am.