Olivia's back same drama... Of course it doesn't start the best when my parents didn't pick her up at the airport. I don't want to defend them saying they're doing last minute Christmas shopping but they should've been there. She came back and of course her being so damn selfconscious is scared of what the family thinks about her gaining weight. It's not all but being in our family you are constantly judged it's really horrible if you do one thing wrong they're so scared by association they'll be that way too.
She hates it here and at first my thought of her moving out of here was just to experience a new way of living to maybe do something career-wise I was totally wrong! The only reason for her move to California was because she's running away from us. She was never happy with how our family worked which I don't blame her but just going out leaving hiding from us is such a sad and pathetic way she showed in her personality. Also the worse thing is that she's not even happy over there! She's just struggling financially and even without US she can't live there. Her so-called "boyfriend" is a horrible man. He'll make her feel smallest ever making everything her fault with how she's having issues with living. She'll accept them as well, probably thinking I am horrible, I can't do this, or it's completely my fault. What he's really doing is blaming our family for how she is behaving how we're horrible people, he's controlling how she thinks and she is falling into it! I just don't understand how this guy she only known for so little as for us that's known her all her life is doing this to her it's the worst thing ever.
I do agree a bit that our family is corrupt and we totally paint a pretty picture over ourselves to make us look like we're happy but it's the worse thing a kid would be in. I guess it's different because Olivia does crave attention and she doesn't get it all the time with my parents and the way I am, I allow them to do what they want I fall in to being a "good boy" I want out at times too. I was actually jealous of her moving away of Des Moines, Iowa. I wanted to experience being by myself taking care of myself. Olivia has made that even more difficult for me, she was suppose to be the lead on that but she failed, making that harder for me to accomplish myself. My life sucks I don't think there's even a trained doctor could help me now it was a little too late it's something I'll have to work on my own.
We fought in the car a little when we were getting food for our younger cousins we were watching. She's 26 years old yelling at a 14 year old girl about food and actually said "FUCK YOU" to her. This whole time she came back she was telling them all or preaching to them to not act a certain way or don't use that word, or you wouldn't want to be called that so you shouldn't use that. Oh so Olivia likes to told to "FUCK YOU!" because it was ok for her to say it to a little girl. Saying oh she's grown she should be able to accept that. Well Olivia to a kid that has always looked up to you, who liked to spend the night to hang out with you, that is a scar that is left on that little girl you told to "FUCK YOU!" I'm not going to tell you to change because that's who you are and obviously it's "our fault" that you are the way you.
I'll probably regret posting this because I'm just really mad at this time but it just feels good to get what's on my mind at this time.
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