U Don't Know Me

drinking, originally uploaded by solotis.

Don't you hate it when people look at you and they quick to judge how you are to act, how your background is, and what type of music you listen to? I know that it's just people that are ignorant quickly assuming because they know someone that is asian or whatever assumes I'm that way too. Thinking I go clubbin' at some disco tech place, having some fancy import car, just some stupid stereotype. I'm not trying to be selfhating asian, I just hate the stereotype that comes along with being asian.

"I was living a biracial life when I'm not."

I really don't hang out with many asians, I do at times feel a bit intimidated by them, that I don't "act asian enough" because my beliefs and my interests. It all started with middle school, of course I have to say middle school is the worse because damn kids are mean at that age. While all the asian kids at that time where really into Rap and R&B and dressing like they're "hood," I was listenin' to my Green Day, NIN, and Smashing Pumpkins. Even though I was still wearing my some designer clothes I was picking off some style from what those bands were wearing. (Very little) But automatically to them I was considered a "white-washed" or a "twinkie" (yellow outside w/white filling.) To them I was white, to my white friends I was asian. I was living a biracial life when I'm not. When middle school ended and going into high school they didn't say things to me I wasn't in the big asian groups or invited to their things. I'd just have few of them talk to me and they don't seem to come at me all at once they would talk to me one to one with me like they were not wanting to be seen with me or some shit, it sucked. It sucks that I dwell on this but it really affected me how I look into our asian culture.

I try my hardest not to fall into stereotype, I'm not going to be those asians that are thugs who group themselves doing bad things not achieving anything in their lives. I'm not going to go out with an asian girl that pretend to act all cute and innocent and act dumb, I don't fall into that. I only think guys go for that because the way they think is that they feel they are the dominant in the relationship that they have power to do whatever they want and sadly that is sometimes how it goes with them. The person I hate that has totally made more of a stereotype that I just want to die is William Hung. He has made a fool out of us, that is how people have looked at us way back and he just brought it back to humiliate us all. Even though he is getting that cash for his 15 minutes, he should realize that he's actually somewhat representing us Asian Americans and he's totally making entire America to laugh at us.

I don't know why I decided to write about this today, it was just something that was on my mind. No scratch that, it's because someone assumed the other day they know the choice of music I listen to because of my appearance, and it just brought me back to school how I couldn't be myself.