Monday, March 17, 2008

St. Patty's Day - Still Hating LIfe

It's St. Patrick's Day and wow I've been living at my apartment for a year now! Some didn't think I can do it all by myself well people at work anyway... which I don't get why would people have such low faith in me and think I'm not capable of what I can do. I have this so-called friend at work who has been just rotten to me recently. The way he talks to me just always tries to make feel lower than him which I don't know why it bothers me so much because I know I'm better than that. He's was like my go to guy and you know just tell him a lot about me and now I've realized that it's the worse thing I did because for some reason now he's just been a complete asshole towards me. It seems to start ever since I got a "teamlead" position which isn't at all a promotion because they don't pay differently (which is another reason I hate this job so much) I don't know if it's jealousy or what, in my head I feel he doesn't want me to be anyhow "above" him because we were treated equal from the start. I do feel I know the project a lot more than he does and whenever he needs some assistance at all from me, he tears me down right off the bat even though I'm right. The past you just think whatver that's his attitude but recently it's just started to really affect me, it brings me back to when I was younger you have friends that you trust and they turn on you, perhaps the reason why I like to keep things to myself.

I think I'm ready to move on and find another job, this job just keeps making me feel ashamed and embarrassed that THIS is what I do at the age I am, when I know I'm better than this job. It's ridiculous now here, I lost motivation I'm sick of this place it's time, I've been there for 3 years now and have not at all moved up, I was told when I got hired on that there's a lot of opportunities coming from this project. I've been fooled long enough, after Mexico I'm going to be doing some searching for a different career path something that respect the work you do.

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